I bit my cheek in an effort to keep the tears at bay. When everyone was gone, I stood in the shower, tears flowing – knowing tomorrow’s fate was going to be worse. Sleep eluded me.
When morning came, I sat watching them fade into the distance as we pulled away. Goodbyes suck. I have the heart of a gypsy, so for the life of me I can’t figure out why goodbyes are so difficult for me. I just know that it hurts more to leave this place than any other place I have ever left.
California, the people and the place, have my heart. I feel at home when we are here. Windows down, sand in my toes… yes, even the traffic.
I sit in awe of how one minute you can be surrounded by traffic, and the next you are sitting with the peace of the crashing waves.
I am amazed at the pure genuine nature of the people we have met. A group of people who love us just for us. We haven’t fit into a mold they have created. We don’t discuss religion or politics, a conversation that seems to dominate the culture in our home state, and because of this we feel the true love of these people. It’s not a love based on conforming to a common belief. We love the opportunity and diversity that surround us in California.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I have a dream of living in a high rise apartment in the heart of a city. Justin doesn’t share this dream. So alas, we have reached an impasse, and I reluctantly loaded myself in the car.
Last night I had a momentary breakdown and told Justin I wasn’t leaving… and trust me, could I have worked it out, I would have stayed. But, for now, we are headed out on our journey home. I am looking forward to our activities on this leg of the journey, but I am still counting the days until I can go back to HB.